Trigger warning: contains examples of (sexual) violence
On Friday 6 November, the 3rd International Conference on Women’s Shelters ended with a strong plea to end one of the hardest violations of human rights: violence against women and children (see: www.worldshelterconference.org/en/news/call-for-action,-connect-and-act/56/). The conference was organised by the Dutch Foundation of Women's Shelters at the request of the Global Network of Women’s Shelters (GNWS). More than a thousand delegates from across the globe gathered in The Hague to share experiences, increase awareness, and exchange effective approaches for improving safety and support to survivors, and ultimately, ending violence against women and children.
Courageous and ground-breaking work
Four days of intense work
followed -- of inspiration and sharing, of being confronted with the deep
wounds of violated women transformed into power to overcome the impact of
(sexual) violence. We listened to Emma Murphy, a 26-year-old mother and blogger
from Ireland, who had posted her story of violence on Youtube and Facebook. She
got almost nine million viewers, which demonstrates the great power of social
media to amplify the voices of individual women speaking out and breaking the silence.
And to Linor Abargil, former Miss World from Israel who was raped and became an
activist, and is encouraging other women to speak out. Tears were shed,
emotions felt.
The scale, the wide range of
forms of violence occurring in all places of the world -- used as weapons of
war, in global trafficking, on the Internet (I can’t wait for the day I can ejaculate in your face, shared Ashley
Judd who is receiving these kind of mails almost daily), the violence at home,
during childhood, adulthood - it became almost too much to digest. You realise,
once again, how sick the world is, and how shameful the silence around and
acceptance of violence is. How can this be?
Many speakers presented
courageous and ground-breaking work supporting women and children. Dr. Denis
Mukwege, a Congolese gynaecologist who deals
with the consequences of rape for women and
girls through surgery in East of Congo, delivered an emotional plea to end
the cruel war against women considered the most worthless in society. The
presence of the Dutch Queen Maxima and the Crown princess Mary of Denmark gave
the conference the profile it merited and lent it a sense of urgency. “Connect
& Act” was the theme. Many women and the few men present felt energized and
encouraged to continue their work. Violence against women must and will
stop!
Where
are the men and what is their role?
We, members of MenEngage, left the conference inspired but also sobered
by the
realization of how much more has to be done in order to stop violence against
women. We were honoured to be invited to address root causes of violence and glad to
see the level of interest in our
workshop ‘Engaging men: Collaboration between women’s and men’s
organisations’. It gave us the
opportunity to share our experiences -- as
well as the sense of importance of recognizing men as equal partners in
building a future without violence against women. For that we need to enhance
our work with men and boys and engage more men.
But we also left with a sense
of uneasiness. Why did so few men attend the conference while most of the
violence is perpetrated by men
enacting false notions of manhood, power and control? The problem is largely about men, and the need to be willing to fundamentally transform
underlying, deeply entrenched values among boys and men and in our societies. A
so called gender transformative approach is needed, together with girls and
women. We fear that as long VAW continues to be presented as a predominantly
women’s problem, it will not end!
The Australian Minister for
Women, Michaelia Cash, brought up the importance of working with boys and men.
Princess Mary addressed it very strongly, giving examples of twinning projects
between Brothers for Life in Cape Town with Dialogue Against VAW in Denmark.
Her words were well appreciated. Unfortunately, her plea for addressing gender
inequality by engaging boys and men in prevention of violence is not well
reflected in the Call for Action which emerged from the conference. The
responsibility of engaging boys and men must not reside as a burden solely on
the shoulders of women’s shelters – it is the responsibility of men, of partners
and member-organizations of the MenEngage Alliance, and of policy makers. We
are therefore extra grateful for the fact that GNWS invited us. We are
determined to continue working together with women’s organizations and support,
with our actions, the global shift towards gender equality.
Transforming
violent masculinities into positive and healthy ones
It is encouraging to note that
international campaigns and movements to engage men are growing, such as the
White Ribbon Campaign, MenEngage, MenCare etc. In November 2014 more than 1200 women
and men came together for the 2nd MenEngage Global Symposium in New
Delhi, to strategize on a gender transformative agenda (see http://menengage.org/resources/delhi-declaration-call-action/). MenEngage is a
relatively new but growing global alliance, born out of the ground-breaking
work of the women’s movement.
Accountability to women and seriously listening to the claims of women’s
rights activists are crucial pillars of its work (see http://menengage.org/accountability), which enable us
to address the real fear that men will
take over (again!), and the fear of losing vital funding. MenEngage and other
gender justice movements and organisations cannot show enough compassion and
deep respect for the women who had the power to survive their violent past. It
is inspiring and hopeful at the same time, to see women’s organisations taking
up the courage to focus also on men, not only as perpetrators but as part of
the solution. These developments need to accelerate.
Quick-wins don’t exist.
However, we can hopefully end violence against women and children faster if we
do more seriously engage the other side of the gender-coin. This requires
unpacking deeply-rooted, destructive and violent notions of masculinity and transforming
them into positive and healthy expressions based on respect for women‘s rights
and gender justice. The result? Improved wellbeing and health of women,
children, men and the society as a whole.
We can and should move forward
– together! Let’s open up for intensified dialogue, exchange, and the
construction of strategic partnerships, including joint funding strategies.
Let’s apply a full gender perspective, with the realisation that we need each
other. This will require facing and overcoming internal gender tensions,
building respect, trust, and knowing where each of us is coming from. If the International
Conference on Women’s Shelters showed us anything, it’s that there is enough
courage and determination to go around.
Let’s Connect and Act!
Warm regards,
Rachel Ploem, Rutgers, the Netherlands (r.ploem@rutgers.nl)
Vidar Vetterfalk, Men for Gender Equality, Sweden (vidar.vetterfalk@mfj.se)
Marina Pisklakova – Parker, Centre Anna, Russia (annaruss93@gmail.com)
Jens van Tricht – Emancipator, the Netherlands (jens@emancipator.nl)
No comments:
Post a Comment